It occured to me this week, as I was attending my company's National Business Meeting, that there are some things that seem to cross the minds of many other mom's but that never cross mine.
For example, I was talking to a group of mothers that started asking if they'd each called their children's school to check on whether dad was getting them there on time and in "good condition". Several responded that of course they had, they wouldn't think of not calling every day to check. I mentioned that I hadn't even thought of doing that and was told that, in time, I'd learn to always "follow up" on dad when I'm away. Something about this attitude bothered me.
That got me thinking ...
Why did these women seem so obsessed with checking up on their husbands, behind their backs? Perhaps they had good reason to but to me, it seemed they just weren't comfortable with the idea of their husbands caring for their kids. They were concerned about whether they were wearing the right clothes, getting to the right activities on time and, in general, concerned that the world at home was falling down without them there to hold it up.
Which also got me thinking ...
Was I comfortable with Little Bit being home with her daddy?
I'm very happy to say that yes, I was. Everything may not have been done that way that I do it when I'm home, but honestly, that doesn't really matter. In fact, some things, like the after bath time dance of drying hair, putting on lotion and getting in to pj's, I'd venture to say daddy does better than me. He may have fed her carne asada, something I never would've considered, but she ate it, loved it and was all the better for having tried it.
In a world where, as women, we ask for all things to be equal at home and at work, why do we still talk about our husbands like they are neaderthals, incapable of holding down the fort when we're away? My personal belief is that what we expect to get is what we actually get.
If we expect our husbands to be equal partners in raising the kids, managing the house and contributing to the checkbook, perhaps we should treat them as equals?
For example, I was talking to a group of mothers that started asking if they'd each called their children's school to check on whether dad was getting them there on time and in "good condition". Several responded that of course they had, they wouldn't think of not calling every day to check. I mentioned that I hadn't even thought of doing that and was told that, in time, I'd learn to always "follow up" on dad when I'm away. Something about this attitude bothered me.
That got me thinking ...
Why did these women seem so obsessed with checking up on their husbands, behind their backs? Perhaps they had good reason to but to me, it seemed they just weren't comfortable with the idea of their husbands caring for their kids. They were concerned about whether they were wearing the right clothes, getting to the right activities on time and, in general, concerned that the world at home was falling down without them there to hold it up.
Which also got me thinking ...
Was I comfortable with Little Bit being home with her daddy?
I'm very happy to say that yes, I was. Everything may not have been done that way that I do it when I'm home, but honestly, that doesn't really matter. In fact, some things, like the after bath time dance of drying hair, putting on lotion and getting in to pj's, I'd venture to say daddy does better than me. He may have fed her carne asada, something I never would've considered, but she ate it, loved it and was all the better for having tried it.
In a world where, as women, we ask for all things to be equal at home and at work, why do we still talk about our husbands like they are neaderthals, incapable of holding down the fort when we're away? My personal belief is that what we expect to get is what we actually get.
If we expect our husbands to be equal partners in raising the kids, managing the house and contributing to the checkbook, perhaps we should treat them as equals?
